Recommendations for parents on psychological support for the child on the eve of exams

Psychological support

Do not increase a child’s anxiety on the eve of sbac practice test for 3rd grade, broadcasting to him his own condition. This may be phrases like: “I’m afraid for you at the exam, I’m not calm at heart”, etc. Excitement of parents is always transmitted to the child. Adults themselves at an important moment can cope with their emotions, but the child, due to his or her age, may “snap” emotionally. Anxiety is a natural, normal human condition in a complex, unfamiliar situation, and is experienced by absolutely all people. There is no person who would not be nervous before an exam, or before making any responsible decision. But when excitement is too strong, it prevents you from concentrating on the material during the exam, increases aggression and forms an overall negative emotional background, which can lead to a state of stupor and, consequently, to a low test result. Parents should pull themselves together, stabilize their child’s emotional state, and tell them how they can reduce anxiety and intensify their actions on exams.

By senior year, students develop performance stereotypes. The child has answered many times orally and in writing, the situation of testing which sentence contains an adverb clause is not new for him/her. Certain excitement may be connected with the novelty of the procedure of exams, but it is easily enough normalized by a detailed description of how exams are held, how CMMs look, how answer forms are filled in.

The problem is that the first final exams coincide with the period of professional self-determination, admission to higher education. In this regard, parents are anxious about the number of points their child will receive at the exam. In order to be ready to accept any result, parents should, together with the child, think in advance about educational routes and options for further study. It is advisable to choose several universities with different popularity ratings, but the same or related faculties that correspond to the chosen profession. Even if you do not get into the desired school right away, with good grades you can consider transferring later. Such opportunities, given good grades, may arise within the same university when transferring from a fee-paying department to a state-funded one, if there are vacancies there.

Provide your child with psychological support. It is the most important factor in determining your child’s success in exams.

Psychological support is a process whereby an adult focuses on the positive attributes and strengths of the child in order to strengthen their self-esteem, help them believe in their abilities, avoid mistakes, and support them when they fail.

To learn how to support a child, parents will have to change their usual communication style. Read: Instead of paying attention to mistakes, an adult needs to focus on the positive side of his or her actions, learn to understand his or her experiences. Supporting a child means believing in him or her. Parents can express their faith in their child by saying things like, “Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll do well on the exam,” or “You know the material, this is very good. It is possible to support with the help of joint actions, physical complicity, facial expressions, touches: hugging, putting a hand on his shoulder, etc.

We shouldn’t forget that a child needs support not only when he/she feels bad, but also when he/she feels good.

There are false ways, the so-called traps of support. For example, typical ways of support for parents are hyper-paunting, creation of the child’s dependence on the adult, imposing unrealistic standards for the child, stimulating competition with peers. Excessive fuss, tutelage, total control (“Why didn’t you start studying? How much material did you have time to repeat? Why are you doing silly things?”) most often cause irritation and protest. The child needs to be sure that adults who can help are around, but it shouldn’t look like elementary school homework preparation, with mom sitting elbow to elbow and watching every movement of the hand. Overzealousness and total control on the part of adults will only complicate the situation. Comparison with more successful peers (emphasizing their success, positive qualities: assiduity, persistence, determination, etc.) or older brothers and sisters who have already successfully passed exams, will not lead to a desire to become better or “take an example from him,” but can create a conflict situation in the family and in the classroom. These methods lead only to the child’s worries and interfere with normal personal development.

Genuine help from the adult should be based on support of the child’s abilities, opportunities, and positive sides. It happens that the adult does not like the student’s behavior. It is at such times that he or she must make it very clear to the child that “Although I do not approve of your behavior, I still respect you as a person. Adults have many opportunities to show their child their satisfaction with their accomplishments or efforts. Still, it is better to teach the teenager to cope with various tasks himself or herself by creating an attitude of, “You can do it. The main goal of developing a child’s self-awareness is for him or her to move from an expectation of praise to adequate self-esteem.

By using negative evaluations

along the lines of “You could have done it better,” “I expected more from you,” the mother believes that she is encouraging the child to get the best results. In fact, such rebukes can lead to the conclusion, “What’s the point of trying? I can’t do anything anyway. I can’t write an exam so that my parents are satisfied with the result. I give up.” Even if the teenager is not quite successful in his or her tasks, the adult should make it clear that his or her feelings about the child have not changed. The following statements may be useful: “You got a low score in the mock exam, even though you hoped for a better result; it was a good lesson for you,” “We are all human beings, and we all make mistakes. After all, by correcting your mistakes, you learn, too.”

By using this style of communication, the adult can help the child gain self-confidence. Self-confidence is the “inoculation against failure and unhappiness.”

Central to the development of a child’s self-confidence is the adults’ belief in him or her. Parents often focus on past failures and use them against the teenager. This can create a sense of hopelessness in the learner: “There is no way I can study better and pass the exam well, let them think I am bad, behind.

To show faith in the child, the parent must have the courage and willingness to do the following:

– forget about the child’s past failures;

– help him gain confidence that he can do the task at hand;

– Remember past successes and go back to them, not to the mistakes.